Anger Control Now & Then

 Check Out Our New Home!

4 Calgary locations

 403.263.5543   1.888.655.5495 

Coping with Change

Chronic Conditions

Clinical Hypnosis

Communication

Relationships
Introversion

Addictions

Career
Sports Psychology

Meditation Coaching

New Look for Anton Counseling & Health Psychology

You've been exploring ways to cool down once you've become angry. You also need to be able to keep yourself calm prior to becoming angry in the first place.

 

Find healthier ways to express your anger

If you’ve decided that the situation is worth getting angry about and there’s something you can do to make it better, the key is to express your feelings in a healthy way. When communicated respectfully and channeled effectively, anger can be a tremendous source of energy and inspiration for change.

Pinpoint what you're really angry about. Have you ever gotten into an argument over something silly? Big fights often happen over something small, like a dish left out or being ten minutes late. But there’s usually a bigger issue behind it. If you find your irritation and anger rapidly rising, ask yourself “What am I really angry about?” Identifying the real source of frustration will help you communicate your anger better, take constructive action, and work towards a resolution.

Take five if things get too heated. If your anger seems to be spiraling out of control, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes or for as long as it takes you to cool down. A brisk walk, a trip to the gym, or a few minutes listening to some music should allow you to calm down, release pent up emotion, and then approach the situation with a cooler head.

Always fight fair. It’s OK to be upset at someone, but if you don’t fight fair, the relationship will quickly break down. Fighting fair allows you to express your own needs while still respecting others.

Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than "winning" the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.

Focus on the present. Once you are in the heat of arguing, it's easy to start throwing past grievances into the mix. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem.

Choose your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it's important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. If you pick your battles rather than fighting over every little thing, others will take you more seriously when you are upset.

 

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you're unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.

 

Know when to let something go. If you can't come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

 

Okay, So now you understand anger better than you did before taking this course. You've assessed your own triggers the best you could. You've learned in detail how to calm yourself down once you've become angry. You've learned how to prevent yourself from becoming angry in the first place, most of the time. The next 2 components will focus on some of your strengths and on expressing yourself, your emotions and your feelings of anger long before you become enraged.

 

Next Component 5

Some of Your Strengths Emotional Expression

Share this page