Crazy 8 Cycle

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Too often we find ourselves experiencing deeply unpleasant, intense emotions. We can swing from feeling sad and depressed to being frustrated and angry in the blink of an eye. But by knowing the likely source of these swirling emotions, we can begin to build the solution.

 

Where are you?

Regardless of where on the planet you are, we can dialogue. Consider asking your questions here. I may not have "the" answer, but I will share a seasoned response with you. Once we're connected, we can communicate more freely.

 

Others I have worked with over the years have used the term "spiral," rather than cycle, but I think we're talking about the same thing. One negative thing leads to another and another and we continue to spiral down. The remedy that  I have always and continue to suggest is to leave the negative downward cycle alone and refocus your efforts on creating a second, positive, uplifting spiral of experiences. One that positively spirals up, lifts us up emotionally. We're putting out effort one way or another. This energy is used to build up positive momentum for ourselves. Rather than expending energy to understand why life is bad, we are infusing our behaviors with this energy and taking action. This is essesntial.

 

So what happens?

 

Don't go through life feeling out of step and not understanding why. Don't think there’s something wrong with you because your world doesn’t seem to look or work the same as everyone else’s.


In essence, a downward spiral leads nowhere good:

 

  • Out of control of the circumstances in their lives that leave them feeling unfulfilled.
  • Out of control of themselves because their thoughts and emotions are so strong.
  • Out of control of their relationships because they can have a hard time connecting with other people.

 

When they feel that they lack control, their emotions go into a natural cycle – one of sadness & depression & then one of anger, resentment & frustration. They enter into the ‘Crazy 8′.

 

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In essence, start building yourself up:

 

  • In control of ourselves regardless of the circumstances.
  • Feeling in control because our thoughts and emotions are something we control.
  • In control of how we operate within our relationships because we control ourselves.

 

When we feel that we are in control, our emotions go into a natural cycle – one of optimism and happiness and then can evolve from happiness to joy, excited anticipation and thrill. Enter into the new ‘Crazy′.

 

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Our Needs

 

People have speculated that as human beings we have 6 different kinds of needs that we fulfill. The first ones, variety and certainty, fall on either end of a spectrum, as do the second ones, love/connection and significance. The other two, growth, and contribution, stand more on their own, kind of like this:

 

variety…………………………………………………….certainty

love and connection…………………………………..significance

growth

contribution

 

 

Our Emotional Patterns

 

When we feel like we don’t have control, we fall into one half of the Crazy 8 cycle. (Picture a sideways 8 or an infinity sign.)  If we prefer variety and love more than certainty and significance, we jump into the sadness and depression side of the 8 first. We feel upset with life, we aren’t happy with ourselves or others around us, and overall things just look blue. We look to others for support (we get love), and we get people to behave in ways toward us that they wouldn’t usually (we get variety).

 

But because, as human beings, we can’t always stay in the same state, after some time we tip over into the other half of the Crazy 8 and become angry and frustrated. We yell, or demand things from others, or blame others loudly for things going on in our lives. And so from this we get certainty (for sure we get their undivided attention), and significance (they listen to us and do what we say).

 

(If a person values certainty and significance more than variety and love, then the same pattern of behaviour occurs but it begins on the opposite side of the 8, i.e., with anger and frustration. Can you tell which side you go to first?)

 

Understanding Our Giftedness

 

Remember, this entire roller coaster of emotion begins from a place of feeling a lack of control. So what can we do? There are options of course. You can begin with a brief one-hour session over the telephone. Make your appointment by clicking here.

 

Learn about giftedness. Understand what it means and everything that encompasses it. Read about the social and emotional sides, not only the intellectual side. Identify the parts of you that are not ‘broken’ as you may have originally thought but are just different than non-gifted people. Let's talk about this so you can understand clearly, once and for all.

 

Understanding Ourselves

 

Learn about yourself. What makes you tick? What do you value and what is most important in your life? What ‘rules’ do you follow?

 

The more you know about what makes you you, the more you’ll realize that the parts of yourself that you thought were out of control really aren’t.

 

The more you can see gifted characteristics in yourself, the more you’ll be able to find them in others and can begin to make more fulfilling connections with people like you.

The more you ‘get what makes you tick’, the more you’ll be able to make focused choices in your life and recognize that you are in control. And the less time you’ll spend stuck in the Crazy 8.

 

Now that sounds good, don’t you think?

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